This week I had an ephiphany about working. For most people, it's no great shakes, and I'm sure all y'all figured this out ages ago, but I'm kinda slow.
You ready for my less-than-earth-shattering realisation?
The work that I do for my clients can have a further reaching effect. I realised that while, sure, I wanna make money and all that shit, my main goal is that I want to be able to give jobs to people I know that desperately want to work, and are under-employed or unable to work in a traditional environment.
That's it. That's my huge epiphany. It doesn't seem like a lot, but it changes the entirety of one's perspcetive.
I've been humbled by the people in my life recently, when I try to do what feels like the right thing. I send some work to my buddy, and he offers to take me to lunch. "You're one of the great ones," he says to me. I'm not, really. I'm selfish and egotistical and spend a lot of time getting in my own way. I work with a friend who always has such nice things to say to me, sometimes I'm embarrassed that she thinks so highly of me. I'm told with some regularity how much people wish they could have my life - they are jealous of the things I do and have access to, and I all too often take it all for granted. My partner is incredible; my friends are some of the smartest, kindest, most generou people I know. I get propositioned by beautiful people and have experiences other people write fiction about.
It's humbling in an incredibly deep way, and makes me want to live up to that perception.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
29 April 2011
Today's gratitude?
That I don't live in Alabama.
Yeh, I thought I should dust this thing off. It's been a while, huh?
Sorry about that. I didn't forget about you, I just...
Got busy living again, I guess. There was a spate of horrible there, for a long time, and being here felt like a lie, sort of.
I've been writing in a number of other places, about a number of other things, but I felt bad that this little home had been so neglected for all one of you that reads me *laugh*
So here's a bunch of good stuff that's been going on:
* I am grateful that my town was not affected very much by recent storms, unlike Raleigh, Durham, and Tuscaloosa
* I am grateful that I have work
* I am grateful that I am my own boss (!!)
* I am grateful that I am learning new things every day
* I am grateful that the sun is shining
* I am grateful to have incredible people in my life
* I am grateful that I have enough work to wonder about all the time I have planned for other exciting things
* I am grateful that I have so many exciting things coming up, I can't decide which to be more excited about
* I am grateful to have a place to write about how grateful I am. I mean, if you stop to think about it, that's pretty amazing, isn't it?
That I don't live in Alabama.
Yeh, I thought I should dust this thing off. It's been a while, huh?
Sorry about that. I didn't forget about you, I just...
Got busy living again, I guess. There was a spate of horrible there, for a long time, and being here felt like a lie, sort of.
I've been writing in a number of other places, about a number of other things, but I felt bad that this little home had been so neglected for all one of you that reads me *laugh*
So here's a bunch of good stuff that's been going on:
* I am grateful that my town was not affected very much by recent storms, unlike Raleigh, Durham, and Tuscaloosa
* I am grateful that I have work
* I am grateful that I am my own boss (!!)
* I am grateful that I am learning new things every day
* I am grateful that the sun is shining
* I am grateful to have incredible people in my life
* I am grateful that I have enough work to wonder about all the time I have planned for other exciting things
* I am grateful that I have so many exciting things coming up, I can't decide which to be more excited about
* I am grateful to have a place to write about how grateful I am. I mean, if you stop to think about it, that's pretty amazing, isn't it?
Monday, November 8, 2010
8 Nov 2010: Congrats!
Hilarity inducing moment:
a friend, upon hearing that I'd gotten married, congratulating the boyfriend, since that's who she usually sees me with instead of my partner. Hee!
a friend, upon hearing that I'd gotten married, congratulating the boyfriend, since that's who she usually sees me with instead of my partner. Hee!
Friday, November 5, 2010
5 November 2010
Mmmm!
Me: Yeh, that's fine.
Officiant: Cool, WUG and Manflesh get married. And then, I'm supposed to say some stuff here, but I don't remember it, so WUG, do you take Manflesh to be your lawful husband?
Me: Yep, I sure do.
Officiant: Cool! *grins* And, Manflesh, do you take WUG to be your legal wife?
Manflesh: Yep.
Fall has descended on the Southeast, and with it, a briskness in the air that makes me happy for heavy socks, big sweaters, fireplaces, and toasty laptops *laugh*
It also makes me grateful that my menfolk are first rate snugglers!
Have I mentioned that I am grateful for them? 'Cos I am.
Excellent things this week:
+ getting married beside a bonfire
+ on Halloween
+ at a party
+ where no one knew it was going on
like so:
Officiant: lemme try to remember how this goes... We are gathered here together to witness... Should I just call you WUG? Is that cool?
Me: Yeh, that's fine.
Officiant: Cool, WUG and Manflesh get married. And then, I'm supposed to say some stuff here, but I don't remember it, so WUG, do you take Manflesh to be your lawful husband?
Me: Yep, I sure do.
Officiant: Cool! *grins* And, Manflesh, do you take WUG to be your legal wife?
Manflesh: Yep.
Officiant: Cool! *bigger grin* Well, in that case, I guess I present to you all Mr and Mrs... Oh, wait, man, what's your last name?
*cracking up* BRILLIANT, and exactly what we wanted. <3
+ soft-opening of a friend's restaurant (delish in my face!)
+ good friends
+ long talks into the night
+ wood-burning fires
+ "Thread, not chapter"
+ Renn Faire plans with out-of-town friends
+ "Why do you look scared?" "You're dancing and smiling. That never bodes well for me."
+ first yoga class! (ow. But in a good way!)
+ hot showers
+ watching my ancient kitty be fascinated by my phone's screen - I swear, it's like he's reading Twitter *laughing*
+ meeting new neighbours - and bonding over similarities!
+ It's Friday!
+ YOU.
<3
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
27 October 2010
Sorry!
I know I have been SO bad about keeping up with this. All I can say is that it has been a crazy year.
Last fall/ winter, I went through a really rough spell that lasted for about 8 months. It wasn't pretty, and while I was looking at all the amazing things I have to the good, I still woke up most mornings wishing I hadn't.
In the spring, I started to come out of it some, and began working towards a life again. Nothing extravagant, but I definitely began getting out into the world again. There were challenges: a painful break up, shifts in my primary relationship, a lot of social activity to juggle, shifting tides at work, a lot of travel, the loss of my beloved dog, a leaky roof...
As with all of us, life continues, and we either deal or don't.
The amazing parts for me are that I have passed the nine-month milestone as a non-smoker, and I feel good. I have a partner that I love and trust and value my life with, and a boyfriend that I am very, very fond of and hope to have stick around for a while. I still have my hound dog on whom to lavish my doggeh lovin'. We found out that the leaky roof is going to be covered by insurance. I got an exciting new job opportunity. I've gotten to go camping and play hooky - and had someone play hooky solely to spend time with me. I have lost (a very tiny bit of) weight. I have had the pleasure of swimming in lakes and learning new things about how my body can move. I'm getting married in a few days (... that one kinda blows my mind).
It's been a hard year, and no doubt about it.
But for now, the blessings far outweigh the hard parts. And that is what I choose to look at.
Monday, August 23, 2010
23 Aug 10
Wow, I have been slack. Not 'cos I haven't been stuffed with gratitude, but I've been busily expressing it elsewhere.
It's been a pretty kickass month, actually, on a number of fronts.
Made new friends, lots of social activity (which is sometimes a tough balance for me - I need it, but it's also draining, in some ways), I've been exercising (... ish) a few times a week (hooping counts, right?), getting to know new people.
+ Getting dolled up to go to Rocky Horror at midnight
+ girls' night
+ breakfast dates
+ crushes
+ hoop jam!
+ motorcycle rides in the summer night
+ trivia nights
+ planning trips
+ not being able to stop smiling, to the point my face hurts
+ talking for hours
+ skinny dipping in the witching hour
+ fur blankets
+ fun-do!
+ pot roast
+ balance
+ trust
Thursday, July 22, 2010
22 Jul '10
I am grateful for:
+ lying in a giant hammock, in the woods, listening to the breeze, birds, and a nearby creek
+ sitting on a couch, on the top of a car, as it travels down a mountian, through a rainforest, in the breeze, and hearing dubstep drifting through the trees (seriously: best. Ever)
+ cold mountain lakes
+ dancing in the rain
+ new hoop tricks (basket weave! Rising moon! Isolations!)[Key: not using my 44"/ 1" hoop for off-body]
+ having a partner that understands how important it is for me to go do things like that
+ meeting new people
+ synchronicity!
+ being gifted 2 gold-tone metal forearm gauntlets (so rad - I feel like Wonder Woman!)(!!)
+ ground score of a pyramid-headed quartz crystal
+ forgetting my headlamp, but being given a hand-sized flashlight
+ being surrounded by joy
+ wearing a tutu and tailcoat with zebra print rain boots, and instead of getting "what the fuck are you wearing?" getting "holy shit, you looks AWESOME!"
+ a dream in which I literally became part of the earth (it sounds like a nightmare when I try to explain it, but it was incredible - the ground and tree roots and creek came up and started melding into my body, and my body morphed into the ground)
+ TEVA-shaped tanlines on my feet *laughing*
+ being in a place for days where no one shakes hands, but everyone hugs - even when they have just met you
+ sitting on a couch, on the top of a car, as it travels down a mountian, through a rainforest, in the breeze, and hearing dubstep drifting through the trees (seriously: best. Ever)
+ cold mountain lakes
+ dancing in the rain
+ new hoop tricks (basket weave! Rising moon! Isolations!)[Key: not using my 44"/ 1" hoop for off-body]
+ having a partner that understands how important it is for me to go do things like that
+ meeting new people
+ synchronicity!
+ being gifted 2 gold-tone metal forearm gauntlets (so rad - I feel like Wonder Woman!)(!!)
+ ground score of a pyramid-headed quartz crystal
+ forgetting my headlamp, but being given a hand-sized flashlight
+ being surrounded by joy
+ wearing a tutu and tailcoat with zebra print rain boots, and instead of getting "what the fuck are you wearing?" getting "holy shit, you looks AWESOME!"
+ a dream in which I literally became part of the earth (it sounds like a nightmare when I try to explain it, but it was incredible - the ground and tree roots and creek came up and started melding into my body, and my body morphed into the ground)
+ TEVA-shaped tanlines on my feet *laughing*
+ being in a place for days where no one shakes hands, but everyone hugs - even when they have just met you
+ new friends
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