Day 31

Wow.

I've done this for a whole month!

I am really proud of that.

Today I am grateful that I went out last night with friends, on the fly. I hadn't planned to go out. and I am so glad I did. I had an amazing time. that I would've missed out on, had I satyed home.

Day 30

Today's joy:

The company I work for LURVES Halloween.

It's nicknamed the High Holy Day - there are costume and pumpkin-carving contests, and photo ops, and everyone that dresses up gets to bail out several hours early. How rad is that?

I am sitting at my office, dressed in my (to be completely honest, kind of sad) costume, tickled pink.

Day 29

zzzzzzz...

I'm sitting a gorgeous shaft of sunshine through my window at the office.

It is making me feel very Garfield: nap attack!

A later than usual night of being social has left me dozy today, but it was lovely.

But the sun is shining, and I'm so glad I went out on a "school night."

Day 28

I was not a grateful girl last night when I got home.

I left work in the pouring rain, had errands to run (also in the rain), it was cold, people in the places I have to do my errands were annoying me, I got home late, dinner still had to be prepared...

It was not a Fun Time to be me.

However, I made an "experimental" dinner - nothing crazy or highfalutin', just something I'd never made before (cubed venison steaks) - and it was delicious. YAY for venison and comfort food - and delicious leftovers for lunch!

I went to bed early and woke up cosy and warm.

The trees are all lovely.

I have fun plans with friends to look forward to.

These are the things to remember.

Day 27

This morning, as I crawled out of bed to take my dogs out, I tossed on the clothes I keep by my bedside for that purpose and took the dogs out.

As I stood there in the drizzle, I mentally went through my wardrobe - what would be cosy but not frumpy on a grey, vaguely rainy, sorta chilly day?

And so I went and got dressed, and am grateful today that I work somewhere I can wear a completely respectable ensemble, with hot pink and orange striped socks with bats on.

And no one will say a word. Hurrah!

highlight: Hugs from Teddy when I get to work.

Days 25 & 26

Mmmm.

I had such a good weekend, though, like all weekends, it was much too short. I do admit that may be what makes them so lovely though - because we are limited in time, so they become more valuable. When one has a surfeit of free time, it becomes less enjoyable.

Saturday (24), I had the pleasure of seeing/ spending time with/ talking to people I don't see often enough.

Yesterday, I had the joy of spending large chunks of time with more people I think are awesome.

Today, I am grateful to have had that weekend.

... Though I would very much like a nap. *laugh*

Day 24

Lots today!

I'm a little behind as I have spent the morning completely being a web-dork and catching up on my social networking - versus doing all the crap I know I *should* be doing.

Do I feel bad about that? A little. I know I have a lot to do, so there's a little guilt.

Regardless of that, I am having a day where I am suffused with general gratitude for pretty much everything. I have no idea why, but I am just... Grateful. I have a good life, and amazing friends, and I woke up to the sound of a heavy rain, and my dogs are cute (I love listening to a hound dog snore and moo), and I have things to do - I can choose to do them, or not, as the mood takes me.

It's really freeing to have that moment.

Day 22

Last night, as I was tucking myself into bed, I did a little ritual thing.

Well, let me be honest: I would like it to be a ritual, but I am not that disciplined as a rule, so it's more "a thing I do randomly, when I remember."

And basically, I just took that moment and let myself be completely blissed out by the good stuff in my life.

A while back, I was dating someone, but we had to end the relationship due to external factors that were beyond our control. It was very difficult and painful, and complicated by the fact that we both still cared very much for one another and didn't really want to split up.

Also, we are friends.

Very complicated and awkward and strange.

At any rate, we still talk regularly and we've both touched on missing that emotional intimacy and connection. And yesterday, I found out that the external forces have kinda...

Well, they're no longer there. We have the freedom to explore our connection and see where it goes, freely and without constraint. It's been a long time coming, and while I know it is susceptible to going off the rails - what isn't, when it comes to human interaction? - right now, I am so grateful for this opportunity.

Day 21

They say (which they? I don't know. Why do we say this?) that it takes three weeks to build a habit.

Congratulations, little habit! It's officially your Day Of Becoming!

It's a beautiful day today - a little warmer and sunny. I would very much like to be out and about in it (preferably on the back of a motorcycle!), but I have a window in my office through which I will enjoy the day.

Day 20, v2

This morning, as I was getting dressed, I asked my sweetie what shoes he thought would best accompany my outfit. He outlined some basic requirements for what I should choose, and I said "So, pair [x]."

He looked confused and said "Is that the only pair that will work?" "Well, based on what you just said, yes."

Immediately, he retorted "We need to get you more shoes. Your shoe wardrobe is seriously lacking."

How many men would say something like that?

... Especially considering I probably have 70 pairs of shoes in my closet right now!

Day 20

I like to update this first thing in the morning so my day is started on the best poissible note.

The downside of that is that my mornings are generally pretty rushed and it can be tough to find something in that tiny amount of time before I have to begin my work day. On the other hand, I usually have a full day between posts.

Like many women who work full-time outside the home, trying to figure out what I want for dinner is an ongoing struggle. I am totally not together enough first thing in the morning to get a crock pot together, and I don't usually think about it at night - I'm doing good if I get one meal into my belly once I get home!

At any rate, last night I was looking around the kitchen, kind of despairing, as I haven't been to the grocery in a while and the freezer is a little barren, we have eaten most of the quickie "throw-together" meals that we have on hand (usually stuff I have cooked ahead of time and frozen), and I am totally sick of hamburgers.

As I stared into the freezer on top of the fridge, I slowly realised I had two freezer packages of garlic naan - they've been in there for quite some time, as I picked them up thinking I would be adventurous and make Indian for dinner some time. I had picked up some shelf-stable pre-made stuff at the same time -- boil in bag dinner things.

The problem with this is that I don't really LIKE Indian food all that much.

On the other hand, I was completely fried and really didn't feel like cooking.

So I pulled the naan out, and made some rice, and boiled up the bags, pretty resigned that dinner was going to be awful -- after all, how often are pre-made things actually tasty? Not so very often, in my experience.

I was pleasantly surprised at how flavourful the whole meal was. The naan had just enough flavour, and the [whateveritwas] has a nice kick to it - enough that my sweetie's nose began running!

Sometimes, the things we resign ourselves to end up better than what we would've planned for.

Day 19

Yesterday, I was dressed very warmly (as noted). As I got dressed, my sweetie commented that he thought I had over-warmed myself - weren't tights superfluous under my jeans, since I would be in the office all day?

I responded that the office is often quite chilly, and as such, I felt pretty ok about my choices.

As it turned out, I left work at noon - with the blessing of those who needed to be aware - to spend the day with him. He had some errands to run, and they were errands I was pretty excited to run with him, as they hinged on some decisions we've been giving serious thought to.

As we went about the business of these errands, he ended up on a call with a friend, which led to us going to the home of an acquaintance, which, in turn, led to us spending the remainder of the day on motorcycles wending down forested roads.

Tucked on the back of a motorcycle, with the wind in my face and the temperatures dropping, I was chilly - but because I had dressed so warmly, I was never uncomfortable. And because I wore tights under my jeans, I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

Spending an unexpected day doing unexpected things can happen when you remain open to the experiences life will present you.

The best bits are that we will be going again soon. And that my sweetie will have his very own bike before too long.

Day 18

It is buttclenchingly cold out this morning - not as cold as it will get over the course of the winter, to be sure, but for the time of year, the temperature has dropped really quickly, to our first below-freezing temps of the season.

Brrrr!

Considering I live in the south, and it's OCTOBER, having a hard frost is a little disconcerting.

BUT!

I am determined to maintain my good cheer and gratitude - though I will warn you, it may get more difficult as the season progresses as I suffer some from Seasonal Affected Disorder.

Having said that, last night, my sweetheart took me to a concert as a celebration of my continued sobriety (yesterday was my 18th anniversary of joining the ranks of sober, joyous, and free!). While we were at the concert, he bought me a hockey-jersey styled sweatshirt - *bouncing squee!*

Today, I am wearing that sweatshirt jersey as a reminder that though it is cold, there is warmth to be had. Also: the sun i shining brightly, and I am, as always, blessed.

Days 16 & 17

A little late, but better late than never.

My gratitude today and yesterday is very, very basic. I am beyond grateful to have such amazing people in my life who bless me with their existence. I cannot say how incredibly grateful I am to all of them for the myriad gifts and blessings they contribute to my day to day existence.

Day 15, pt 2

Right now, I am grateful that I am safe and sane and able to be able to be there for someone who needs me more than I can imagine.

Day 15

I just got asked if I am wearing my "skinny jeans," and I am not.

I guess these jeans look pretty good on me :)

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It's been a hairy week to find things - I don't do well when it's grey and rainy - add in the first serious temperature drop, and it all goes pear-shaped kinda quickly in my head.

But yesterday, I booked a trip for my birthday (using my frequent flier miles 'cos I am a budget-conscious gal), and when I mentioned it to my friends in the city I'll be visiting, there was so much excitement about it - that helps. As I touched on recently, it's nice to be wanted.

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It's a quirk of mine that although I get compliments on various things with some regularity, I rarely think they're valid. I don't have the hubris to imagine it's a strange quirk, by any stretch of the imagination, but I do realise it's one of those things that makes me a tiny bit off kilter. Certain things I brush off , because my mind parses them as "default" because they are not things I have any control over. I don't have anything to do with my "amazing eyes" or my "awesome mind" or my "beautiful back": these are all things that came factory installed, and I am just blessed to have them. I didn't create them or have any input with regard to them. I am always grateful to receive compliments, don't get me wrong, but I don't see why I should get to take credit for them, I suppose.

I kinda feels like winning an award when you're the only person in the room: Congratulations! You're... Um, here. Have an award 'cos we have no one else to give it to.

Which is all a very long-winded way of getting to this: late yesterday, I found out that some writing samples I submitted recently have been accepted! This is incredible news, 'cos I've never, ever written for any reason other than to amuse myself - and to find out someone else thinks my stuff is worth putting out to the world? THAT is worth celebrating.

Because I did work for that. And I am proud to know that is acknowledged, in however small a way.

Day 14

Time management is one of those things I have never quite gotten the hang of. I find myself with not enough time or giant expanses of it stretching out around me with nothing to fill the void.

Over the course of my life, I have, like most people, run headlong into times where I can't find a moment to breathe and I begin to feel overwhelmed. I am, at heart, introverted - my batteries are charged when I am able to spend time completely alone. When I am in those periods when I am going five hundred miles an hour, I start to get irritable- why can't everyone just leave me the hell alone? Why does everyone need something from me? GO AWAY! I'm not Greta Garbo- I don't want to be alone, I need to be alone. How come no one gets that? WAH!

I'll fess up: I throw a big ol' pity party and feel very sorry for myself. It's all very pathetic, to be quite honest. After all, I am usually the one that puts myself in these very situations that I then turn around and complain about! Silliness, I say.

Once I can realise that I am being patently ridiculous, I am able to be so thankful that I have people that love me enough they want to spend time with me and shift my perspective some: it's an embarrassment of riches to be so loved.

And I am. About that, I have no doubt.

Day 13

I am a really pisspoor homeowner. I suck at doing basic maintenance stuff, in part because I don't realise it needs to be done, in part because I flake out once I realise it should be done, and in part because I am usually too broke to afford material costs.

This morning, my partner mentioned something about our lawn - it's been woefully neglected since I bought the house four or five years ago, with little other than the most basic mowing/ edging/ weedeating maintenance done to it. I haven't planted anything because I travel pretty regularly and I know my partner won't remember to water or week anything in my absence, so I haven't wanted to waste the time/ effort/ money on plantings.

He really hates doing yard work.

So this morning, when he asked me to remind him to water the lawn over the next few weeks, I was caught off-guard. Turns out, the guy he had hired to handle our mowing and such has reseeded and fertilised the front yard, and the Manflesh doesn't want that to go to waste.

As he walked me out to my car this morning, he pointed out the new growth from the reseeding. We're solidly into fall, and there are bright green shoots of young grass in the yard.

Even when everything seems to be bundling up and closing its doors against fall, something is flourishing. That's a good thing to keep in mind.

Day 12

Lately, there's been something in the air, and a lot of my friends have been going through some very difficult times. It's very, very sobering and incredibly easy to become weighed down by how much is going on in the lives of people I care about. I used to have a very tough time being able to be a true friend, because there was always a tally in my head - and I allowed myself to feel like a martyr, as I felt as though I was constantly giving but not receiving in return.

Of course, after many years of that internal hurtful monologue, I realised that I didn't let people know when I needed help, either. Kinda makes it difficult to help me, huh?

Today, I am beyond grateful that my life is stable enough that I can offer support to my friends without anger, bitterness, or any resentment. There is a certain amount of peace that comes with being able to say "How can I help?" without anything behind it beyond a desire to actually be of assistance and be a support when it is needed.

Day 11, pt 2

Oooh!

I am SO glad to have an iPod today.

My mood has kinda been all over the place, and before the advent of MP3 players, there is NO WAY I would've been able to facilitate that - but now, I can go from layered harmonies to electronica to heavy metal to big band, without any problem.

AND it all fits in the palm of my hand! Awesome.

Day 10 and 11

Sundays are my day that I go out and live life, instead of documenting it, so I suspect my Sunday posts will often come on Monday mornings.

Yesterday, for example, I had plans to grab a bite to eat with some friends and follow up with a day of thrift-shop hopping. There is very little I find as much fun as spending a day with my girlfriends, and yesterday was no exception. There was much in the way of laughter and silliness, which seems to be one of the best ways to start a week on the right foot. Plus, there was the added bonus of having people to give feedback on "Well, I'm pretty sure you have umpteen billion of that already, don't you?" Brilliant way to spend an afternoon.

And today, we're back to Monday, and it's overcast. Normally, this would be one of those days I have a rough time finding something for which to be grateful - but today, I am grateful for spaghetti.

It's like this: this morning when I was rummaging through the fridge for something to bring with me to work for lunch, I discovered my sweetie had prepared a lunch for me, packaged in a perfect size for lunch - despite not having done so for himself. We had spaghetti for dinner one night recently, and of course had much more sauce than we did noodles. Last night, after I went to bed, apparently The Cutest Man in the World made up a mess of pasta just so I could have spaghetti for lunch.

How thoughtful is that? Ridiculously so, I think. *bliss*

Day 9

Oh, lots of reasons to be grateful today, but I'm going to go with the one that popped into my head as soon as I woke up:

It's perfectly lovely to be able to sleep until you wake naturally.

Joy Linking

I should probably go sign up for a billion affiliate accounts or something so I can make ALL THAT MONEY from the traffic I'll be sending (...)(*cue maniacal laughter*), but mostly, these are just some links that focus on enjoyment that I am liking this week.

Oh, let's be honest: Probably all the time *laugh* Which is my way of saying: these are all simply my own opinion.*

The Happiness Project: Seriously. How can you not automatically be put in a better mood by that? I mean: A project ALL ABOUT HAPPINESS. So rad.

Zen Habits: My friend The Panda pointed me at this a while back, and while I certainly am not together enough to remember to read it as regularly as I should, when I do, it always serves up exactly what I am needing.

Vital Affirmations: Brilliant.

50 Ways to Brighten Your Day: Exactly what it says. Always good to have on hand.

A big PILE of articles about embracing joy

And, of course, there is ALWAYS Gala Darling, who is consistently charmingly insane, who brings us this list of stuff to cheer yourself up. Brilliant.

I used to do a Love Thursday post over in one of my other webhomes, but I figure: Why limit myself? ^.^

*No endorsements have been paid or given by the sites listed herein. All comments are simply because I happen to think the site in question is pretty rad. Here endeth the disclaimer.

Day 8

This morning, getting out of bed was TOUGH. I've been completely exhausted for no good reason I can figure out, and the dark, cool mornings make it that much more difficult to haul my carcass out of bed.

But it's the manflesh's day to be at work painfully early, and the dogs have to go out whether or not I want to get up. So up I got.

And you know? I got to the den, shambling along in my morning couture d'homeless ensemble, and one of the dogs ran full force into my shins.

I wanted to be angry, 'cos: OW. But her entire body was shimmying like an excited puppy, and she kept trying to climb into me, and give me kisses, and despite my exhaustion and being kinda cranky, I had to smile.

'Cos there is nothing quite as capable as perking up a dull, grey morning like forty-five pounds of wriggling, ecstatic doggie giving you kisses and smelling just like a doggie should.

And for that, I am immensely grateful.

Inspiration

life is difficult. It really is. But it seems much more difficult than it really is because society is training you to think that it should be easy. Microwave popcorn, drive-throughs, magic pills and instant downloads have conditioned us to expect everything to be easy and push button and if it’s not, then oh-crap-what-is-wrong-with-me-I-am-such-a-failure.

• If you wish/expect/hope things should be easy, then getting out of your comfort zone is terrifying and paralyzing and something you will never, ever bring yourself to do it.
• But if you accept that life is difficult, then it stops being so damned bad.Yeah, it’s a pain sometimes, but you expect it and it’s not so bad simplybecause you expect it. You know you’ll wince, but you know it’s going to be worth it.

From The Launch Coach

Day 7

First, an addenda to Day 6. Let's call it Day 6.1:
Yesterday, in a fit of hubris, I showed this blog to a friend of mine. She's generally pretty upbeat, and a constant inspiration to me, so I sent her the link to this little exercise without telling her anything about it.

I meant to get back here yesterday and add her response, because it made me so happy:
"omg i love all your gems of fun times! thats really magical."

As a secondary bit of happiness-inducement, there is an elsewhere I wrote about some other things, and a friend commented to me that my remarks there inspire her to try new things.

Aren't those amazings thing to be told? It gives me joy to know others are touched by my small steps, when I am just working to get things out of my head. Small gems of joy to admire when when I am lacking in inspiration of my own.

And now, onto new business.

It's that time of year when the weather is changing on a dime - cool and cloudy giving way to sunny and downright warm with capricious speed. One doesn't want to turn on either the heat of the air conditioning, because it will only bne appropriate for about 15 minutes.

Last night, I woke up a little chilled, as we've not yet put the winter blankets on the bed. Right about the time I became conscious of being un-warm, Manflesh scooted over on the bed and curled his toasty body around me. In short order, I was comfortably cosy again, and drifted back to sleep.

Day 6

It's grey and overcast, yet again, but this morning on my commute, I looked across at the skyline of my fair city and saw a strip of the perfect robin's egg blue across the heavy clouds.

Even when it's been days on end of dreary and soggy, there's always sunshine coming eventually. Isn't that a lovely thought?

Day 5

The temperatures have begun dropping for fall, and the grey, rainy weather has begun.

Though this is certainly not my favourite weather, I am grateful that I have warm, cosy clothes I can wear to mitigate the chill to some degree when I leave the house.

Day 3 and 4

... whoops. I missed yesterday's post, thanks to too much excitement in the homestead.

So, Day 3:

Bunch of stuff:

- Manflesh let me sleep in, despite needing my help with an errand

- Free tickets to a concert we both wanted to attend

- Being on the same page

Today (Day 4):

Sometimes, the Manflesh drives me to work, so he can use the car on his day off. When he drops me off, he waits in the driveway of the office to make sure I get in the building safely.

Day 2

This morning, I got to sleep in quite late.

Found coffee prepared, still hot, waiting on me. And the dogs had been taken out, fed, watered, and pilled.

Now I can focus on waking up. And isn't that a lovely thing?

Day One

As I was driving to work this morning, I thought to myself:

You know what's nice? Waking up grateful for what I have.

I know an awful lot of people and not a whit of them are all that jazzed about much of anything.

And then I thought "What the hell! I will make a blog all about basic stuff for which I am grateful." 'Cos that is the kind of hippie I am.

So to kick start this whole shedoingle:

Today, I am grateful that I woke up filled with gratitude.